Sleepy secrets

I'm writing a poem called Sleepy Secrets, but I'm too tired to think it over right now. Just... back to my old ways of falling asleep around eight and opening my eyes for no reason at 11pm-ish, wide awake, with the whole empty night ahead of me. And lately I hate going on my computer at night. Despise it. So, I'm awake at night and I don't know what to do with myself. I read, or draw, until finally, close to dawn I end up on WoW or youtube (Pokemon, broadway, what'll it be today?!) and then??? I have to work and I'm so sleepy... I can't sleep at night but --ha!-- I can always fall asleep at six in the morning and that's exactly when I need to be awake!!

Most people assume something is wrong when I say I can't sleep at night. And then, why don't I want to go on the computer at night? Questions bother me, so, the sleeplessness is a secret. Which makes it kinda lonely. Then again, most of my life is a secret... note the anonymous blog. I like it that way. If the cost is feeling a little lonely, so be it.

I like having the nights to myself, though. I just mentioned this to a friend who's "in" on my sleepy secret. I told this friend ... and to (again) be honest, despite the tiredness and the feeling of slight loneliness that comes with being awake all night, there's also a stillness and peacefulness to the solitude. I have the entire night to myself. ...ultimately, night is when I belong most to myself. I wouldn't be me if I didn't have these strange sleepless nights.