The Happiness Scale.

Sometimes I worry that there's some kind of emotional balance in the world... that if something good is happening to someone, then something bad is happening to someone else-- officially, not in a "good and bad things all the time" way. I mean, if something good happens to me, something bad must happen to balance it. That sounds silly and superstitious, but I can't help but ponder the way the world seems to work in that way. Even matter can't be created or destroyed, only changed. What if emotion is like matter, and if someone has happiness it wasn't created, but taken from someone else. I mean. That sounds so ridiculous to say out loud >.< But, just I can't help but think, there was so much good news today, and I was so happy. Then someone else shared the worst news imaginable and I felt like, why does there always have to be this give and take of sadness and happiness? And if something good happens and people are happy, is that just going to match the sadness that will soon be felt? Is there some kind of cosmic law that, as a "rational" thinking person, I'm in denial of truly facing? I should just accept that whatever happiness comes my way, there'll be a backlash of sadness to follow. It's just life. And nothing, least of all happiness lasts forever.

The older I get, the more I wish for neutrality of emotion. I can't help but feel elated and delighted at life though. I can't help but bounce and feel high and spirited, but it comes with feeling low and droopy sometimes, too. I suppose I could be neutral... and what a relief to never feel sad and empty and lonely. But I would miss feeling cheerful. I'd miss feeling silly.

I wonder......, hm. I wonder if when I feel sad and broken, if that might mean that somewhere else, someone is feeling whole and joyful. What if there is a happiness scale, and it always stays in balance? Oi. There's probably a movie or a book based on this principle. What if we could choose to take people's happiness? Gah! What if every happy moment, we knew we were stealing happiness from someone and making them feel despair? Nooo!! If this book is written I don't want to read it. And if it's not written, I don't want to write it.

I guess that means it's not worth thinking about, or worrying about. I don't know why I think of these things. >.<